The eternal balancing act of superheros
I feel I have neglected you, dear blog. Just another little neglected corner in the last few weeks. It seems that no matter how many hours I work, I am never on top of the to do list, and there is always something or someone I am worrying about and feeling guilty I am neglecting.
I suspect this is good preparation for motherhood - we can do enough or be everywhere enough, but, as the Talmud says 'Kal V'Homer'; how much more so - when one is a Rabbi. As women, we so often have to work harder and do more than male colleagues to be seen as equal or to achieve as much, and this is made that much harder when one is trying to balance the needs of a community and a small child. But I certainly wouldn't want to be without either.
At an NCT class tonight, it was perhaps obvious, but it was comforting to hear the words 'so many of us try to be wonder woman; you don't have to do it all on your own, and you shouldn't try to'.
It is difficult to let go at times, but whether we are men or women, we all feel we have so much to prove, and the reality is, we probably don't; except maybe to ourselves!
So as maternity leave rapidly approaches, I will do my best to ask for help, and not to be wonder woman, (I'm excited to have begun this process by deciding with Gary to hire a doula to support us through labour; we don't have to be perfect at that either, support is there for us!). I am repeatedly told that it will be ok if everything isn't finished before I go on leave; that's the part where I do begin to doubt; I still want to be a professional, and I don't want to leave things for others to clear up. But the reality is, just as I can't predict when the baby will actually come, I can't control whether I get everything done or not; there are only so many hours in the day, and while I did work 14 of them yesterday, I can't do that regularly any more, and the world will survive; I'm not in charge, and I'm not that important!
So let's all embrace the part of us that ISN'T perfect, that ISN'T a superhero, and be satisfied with doing what we are able to.
I suspect this is good preparation for motherhood - we can do enough or be everywhere enough, but, as the Talmud says 'Kal V'Homer'; how much more so - when one is a Rabbi. As women, we so often have to work harder and do more than male colleagues to be seen as equal or to achieve as much, and this is made that much harder when one is trying to balance the needs of a community and a small child. But I certainly wouldn't want to be without either.
At an NCT class tonight, it was perhaps obvious, but it was comforting to hear the words 'so many of us try to be wonder woman; you don't have to do it all on your own, and you shouldn't try to'.
It is difficult to let go at times, but whether we are men or women, we all feel we have so much to prove, and the reality is, we probably don't; except maybe to ourselves!
So as maternity leave rapidly approaches, I will do my best to ask for help, and not to be wonder woman, (I'm excited to have begun this process by deciding with Gary to hire a doula to support us through labour; we don't have to be perfect at that either, support is there for us!). I am repeatedly told that it will be ok if everything isn't finished before I go on leave; that's the part where I do begin to doubt; I still want to be a professional, and I don't want to leave things for others to clear up. But the reality is, just as I can't predict when the baby will actually come, I can't control whether I get everything done or not; there are only so many hours in the day, and while I did work 14 of them yesterday, I can't do that regularly any more, and the world will survive; I'm not in charge, and I'm not that important!
So let's all embrace the part of us that ISN'T perfect, that ISN'T a superhero, and be satisfied with doing what we are able to.
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